Paciencia y Fé

Paciencia y fé. It's a phrase I have been trying very hard to live by. In English, it translates to, quite simply, "Patience and faith." Of course, there's really nothing simple about translation and so much gets lost in it. These three words, in Spanish, mean something much deeper and richer, something that, honestly, I still haven't found words to describe in English.

Patience. It's something we think we have, but we don't truly know the meaning of it until we have been tested. Not, like, wait for the bus that is half an hour late tested, but TESTED. Tested by the people in our life, tested by the circumstances, tested by procedures and obstacles and the giant Murphy's Law that is life. Patience is waiting for people you love even when they have left your life, even when they are determined to not come back. Patience is waiting for them to decide that some things aren't so easy to break, waiting for however long that takes, even if it lasts the rest of this lifetime. There'll be others, after all.*

Faith. Faith is so much more than religion and belief systems would have us think it is, and, as I'm working through these two concepts, I'm realizing how inextricably they're entangled with one another. Faith is trusting that, no matter how long you wait, things will work out. It's believing that love and doing good in this world matter. It's believing that things may be hard, but they will get better. That this, too, shall pass. That the people who you love who no longer love you will see the light. That the choices you've made in life, particularly the good ones, will pay off. That people will grow up, change, make better choices (in this case, I have my little sister in mind, who is in college and, while incredibly bright, making incredibly stupid life choices). Faith could be, yes, a belief in something bigger, a higher power, one that takes care of all this for us. And who's to say? Maybe there is. I'm certainly not going to be the one to make that call one way or another; it's not my place.

Paciencia y fé is, for me, a way of life and one that did not come easily. Over the last two years, I have been going through a slow, at times unbelievably painful, growth spurt spiritually (again, not necessarily in a religious sense). I'll go into it more at a later date, as the people, activities and revelations that caused and influenced it are topics on their own, but this process, well, it's shown me how much truth there is in this phrase... so much that I'll be having it added to my tattoo collection at some point. This phrase means acting on instinct and trusting that it will all work out, if only we have the strength to see life through.

Some days, paciencia y fé is a goal. Sometimes, it's a prayer, a realization, an aspiration, something I've attained. Everyday it's a reminder... of what, I don't know. But that's part of the beauty of it, it's ever changing nature. So, tonight, after a long, trying, stressful day that came from somewhere out of left field, the only two words I have for myself, the two that will lull me to sleep and sustain me through tomorrow and the next tomorrow and the next tomorrow are these: Paciencia y fé.

Be Good.

-Norma

*That reminds me, one of these days, I should really explain my relationship with Buddhism.